Kagu's Shocking Problem
by Patch444
Summary: Kagu discovers that she just can't stop zapping everyone! Hilarity ensures! Nuff said...


Kagu's Shocking Story.

By Patch444

It was a beautiful day in the land of Nippon. The sun was out, the birds were singing, and no demon scrolls floated through the fields to ensnare unsuspecting travelers. One could say that everything was as it should be. Unless you were the bratty, child actress Kagura, that is. Her friends called her Kagu for short. I assume this was due to the fact that the name "Kagura" soundedI like a guy's name. But that wasn't the reason that she was in a bad mood on this fine day. No, the reason for her bad mood was due to the fact that several of her fellow actors just couldn't get their lines right.

She was currently berating the unfortunate soul that had once again either stepped on her lines by accident or just hadn't got his blocking down.

"Read the script," Kagu commanded. "look, it says that you're supposed to walk UNDER the fake rose bushes, not THROUGH them!"

"So sorry, sir." said the actor who was supposed to be playing the role as one of the background characters in the play that they were rehearsing in the Sei-An City playhouse. "Er, I mean, ma'am, I mean, boss, I mean-"

"As for you," Kagu turned to face another screw-up. " the line says "Your wish is my command, my liege" not "My liege, your wish is my command"!"

"Sorry, Miss Kagu, won't happen again" squeaked the actor.

''For your sake it had better not." grumbled Kagu. She then turned to face the rest of the actors and stage crew. "I'm not trying to be harsh or anything," she announced, " but we've got to get this thing right ,people, every detail counts!" She then returned to the spot where her character was supposed to be standing in the current scene. " All right, places everyone, hop to it!" She clapped her hands and everyone hustled to their designated areas.

"Aaaaaaaand, action!" called Kagu's father, Tsuruya, who was supervising the rehearsal. Before Kagu could even say her line, however, one of the actors tripped and fell flat on his face. Most of the others laughed but Kagu yelled, "Stop, STOP, CUT!" and silenced them. The actor who had tripped got up, dusted himself off. Kagu marched over to him, her eyes were daggers.

"I-I-I, um, s-sorry about that bo-" stammered the actor before Kagu cut him off.

"Save it!" she yelled, "You think that I'm going to allow that on opening night? DON'T ANSWER THAT!" The actor was trembling in fear. "THIS is what is going to happen to you if you repeat that little stunt on opening night!"

When something like this happened, Kagu usually shook who ever messed up silly until he/she was dizzy. But something different occurred this time. Kagu had barely laid a finger on the actor before her hands suddenly sparked with electricity and the poor man was lying on the floor a split second later, smoking.

"Ouch." he murmured.

Kagu gasped, took a step back, not believing what she had just done. "She zapped him!" she heard someone whisper. "Out of cold fury!" someone else added. Kagu looked at her hands. They were still coursing with electricity. She turned to face the rest of the cast who were all staring at her with disdain or fear.

"I-I-I didn't do it," she began, " I-I would never use my powers to hurt someone like that!" Her "powers" that she was referring to were her miko powers, a rare gift of seeing things that others could not along with other psychic abilities like moving objects without touching them, levitating off of the ground, and firing bolts of...electricity.

"Ummm, let's all take a break for now," Tsuruya suggested, " we will all, um, continue this scene later at a better time." The theatre was almost empty in less than a minute. Kagu turned to her father.

"Daddy," she began, " you know that I would never hurt anyone, right? What just happened-"

"Was a total accident," Tsuruya cut in, " I know that no daughter of mine would misuse her powers like that, I sure wouldn't."

"Dear," said Kagu's mother, Kiku, " you don't HAVE any powers."

"Oh yeah, right." Tsuruya chuckled. He looked down at his feet. " I wish I did though.." he muttered to himself.

Kagu looked at her hands again. They were no longer cracking with electricity but they still felt a little hot and numb.

"Why don't you go take a break." her mother suggested. Kagu looked up. "But the rehearsal-." she protested, "Is over for now," her father said. "Your mother has a point. Maybe a break is all you need." Kagu thought for a moment. Maybe a break from all of the stress of perfecting the play was a good idea.

"I hear your friends are in town," Tsuruya added, "along with that white wolf pup, maybe you should go hang out with them." Kagu brightened, a day of hanging out with her friends was just what she needed. "Promise me that you'll keep the troupe in line while I'm gone?" she asked. Her father laughed, "Run along," he commanded, " go and have some fun with your friends." Kagu hugged him.

"Thanks, Dad." she said. Kagu hurried to her room, changed out of her costume, put on some nice, fresh clothes, and then set out to find her friends, the incident with the rehearsal already behind her.

Kagu walked around the commoners quarters of Sei-An City, looking for her the thought of spending the rest of the day with them made her feel better. She finally spotted them gathered around the fountain at the town entrance. There was Kuninushi, the young swordsman (swordsboy?). Everyone called him Kuni for short since the name Kuninushi was not only REALLY long and hard to pronounce, but also sounded funny. "Kuninushi" also sounded sort of like a girl's name. Much to his annoyance , and his alone, Kagu had given him the nickname, Nushi, ever since she found out what his full name was. Then there was Nanami the mermaid who was one of Kagu's best friends. Everyone thought that Nanami was cute and beautiful which semi-annoyed Kagu who liked to be the pretty girl of the group. Nanami was sitting on top of a small wolf pup, who was none other than Chibiterasu, son of the goddess of the sun, Amaterasu. Each one of the members of the group had his/her own nickname for the little sun god. Kagu's was Pooch, Kuni's was Mutt, Manpuku's was Porkchop, Nanami's was Squiddy, and Kurow's was boy or Dude depending on what mood he was in. Kagu winced, emphasis on WAS. Kurow had sacrificed himself a few months ago in order for Chibi and Kuni to take down the evil demon lord, Akuro. Kagu still missed having Kurow around, they all did.

Kagu ran up to her friends.

"Hey guys," she greeted them cheerfully. She turned to Kuni "Hey, Nushi," Kuni turned bright red in embarrassment while Nanami chuckled. "Kagu," he grumbled "I've told you like an infinite amount of times NOT to call me that!"

"All the more reason for me TO call you that, Nushi." Kagu responded. Kuni folded his arms and glared at her, his face still flush with embarrassment.

"Hey, miko girl," Nanami greeted, happily. "Hey, Nanami," Kagu said in response. She then bent down and stroked Chibi's forehead. "and hello to you too, Pooch." Chibi barked and wagged his tail in response. Kagu looked around.

"Where's Manpuku?" she asked. Kuni jerked his thumb towards a nearby food stand. Manpuku, the fat, glutton of a boy approached them carrying a large pile of rice balls. Kagu assumed that they were all for him.

"Guys," he said, "the future is AWESOME! I didn't know that they could make food on the side of a road!"

"Good to see you too, Manpuku." Kagu greeted. Kuni was staring at the huge pile of rice balls.

"Dude," he said, "are you SERIOUSLY going to eat all of those?"

"Don't insult me, dude." Manpuku chuckled.

"So, are you and your mother still getting settled in along the coast?" Kagu asked. Manpuku popped a rice ball in his mouth and swallowed it in one bite. "Yeah, we are," he answered, "mom really likes this time period, says it has more agriculture or whatever. We're still trying to decide whether to add some bamboo furniture or just to keep it simple with stone."

"Oh, because bamboo is flammable and you two have hair made of fire?" Kagu asked. "No," Manpuku answered, "it's because if we get the bamboo furniture, I might EAT it." Kagu laughed.

"So anyway," Kuni cut in, "we heard that you zapped somebody earlier."

Kagu gulped, she remembered the rehearsal. "Do people know about it?" she asked, nervously. Nanami nodded. "Yeah," she answered, "we saw some guys in theatre uniforms. They were saying that you shocked someone out of anger or something and they told us to warn everybody that ANYONE could be next."

"WHAT!" Kagu screamed. "They told EVERYONE!"

"Slow down, Kagu, they didn't tell EVERYBODY," Manpuku said.

Kagu sighed out of relief.

"Just anybody who would listen."

Kagu's face turned white. "I'm DOOMED!" she squeaked. Chibi whimpered and rubbed up against her. "Thanks, Pooch." she patted the wolf pup on the head.

"What happened anyway?" Nanami asked. Kagu told them everything. She described how she had barely touched the actor before she shocked him and how her hands had been coursing with electricity.

"I don't know if it was because I was mad or what," she said, "miko powers aren't usually triggered by emotion, I don't know how or why it happened, it just did." Kagu looked down at her feet. She looked like she was about to cry. Her friends looked at her with sympathy. Kuni walked over to her.

"There, there," he said "I'm sure you didn't mean to-" Kuni reached his hand out to give a Kagu a comforting pat on the shoulder but as soon as his hand made contact a wave of electricity shot up into his hand and then spread to the rest of his body.

"YOOOWWWWCCCHH!" Kuni screamed in pain. His friends screamed too, except for Chibi who just stood there, mouth agape. Kuni fell to the ground, smoking.

Kagu gapsed. "KUNI!" she yelped. Kagu tried to take his hand and help him get back on his feet but as soon as she took his hand Kuni was blasted with another wave of electricity which sent him reeling. Everyone gasped. Kuni lay on the ground, his skin slightly burnt.

"Ouch." he muttered.

Manpuku helped him up. Besides his skin, Kuni's clothes were a little chard around the edges. His hair was standing up too. "You okay, dude?" Manpuku asked.

"I'm fine," Kuni wheezed, "just a little crispy." He looked around. "Why is everything teal all of a sudden?"

"He's fine." Nanami declared. Chibi jumped happily. Kagu was horrified.

"Oh my gosh!" she moaned, "Kuni, I'm so sorry!"

"It's nothing," the boy said as he dusted himself off, "I'm just glad you didn't call me Nushi."

Kagu looked at her hands, they were once again coursing with electricity. "What's happening to me?" she asked. Manpuku shrugged. " I dunno," he admitted, "puberty maybe, or an allergic reaction." Chibi began barking, then he took of toward a nearby building.

"That's Dr. Bluebeard's house," said Kagu, "maybe he can help me!"

"Say ahhhhh." Dr. Bluebeard said. Kagu opened her mouth as he pressed a wooden stick against her tongue. "Hmmmmmm," the Dr. twisted his blue mustache "that's interesting."

"Is she gonna be okay, Doc?" asked a very concerned Nanami.

"Did she eat something bad? I'll bet she ate something bad." said an anxious Manpuku.

"If she dies, can I have her stuff?" asked a very impatient Kuni.

Everyone in the room turned and glared at him.

"Anyway," Dr. Bluebeard concluded, " I just can't find anything wrong with her. She's completely healthy. In fact, she's just as healthy as any girl or child her age should be."

"Then how do you explain the electricity," Kagu asked. The Dr. shrugged. "Beats me," he admitted, "This case is not in my field, If you want answers you'll have to go see a professional."

"Miko Cho!" Kagu cried, "She's the leader of the Mikos, she'll know whats wrong with me!" Kagu got down from the chair that she was sitting on. As soon as her feet touched the floor there was a CRACK and her feet left two burns in the floor. Kagu yelped and jumped back up onto the chair. "It's getting WORSE!" Manpuku declared.

"No duh, Sherlock!" Kuni said.

"Maybe you could ride on Squiddy to the Miko HQ." Nanami suggested. Chibi immediately shook his head and whimpered in response.

"That's okay," said Kagu, "I'll just float there."

"We're almost there" Nanami announced. They all had walked to the Miko HQ, er well technically Kagu floated, but for good reason. Her condition was getting worse by the minute. Her entire body was coursing with electricity and to make matters worse, since this part of Sei-An City was so crowded with people, she couldn't move five feet without accidentally shocking someone. As they reached the gates to the large building that was the Miko HQ, there was a trail of fallen people behind them, each one an unfortunate victim of Kagu's "shocky syndrome". Kagu let out a deep sigh. She was starting to become depressed. As they reached they gate, Manpuku collapsed.

"FINALLY!" he moaned "That was ALOT of walking! Anybody got a pork chop?"

"You're gonna have to wait, Manny." Kuni said. He then turned and began pounding on the double doors to the Miko HQ. "Open up!" he hollered, "We've got a miko with shocky syndrome out here" The door opened and a gorgeous women stepped out. She had a strange aura about her.

"Begone, young swordsman," she commanded, "this area is for mikos only."

"Miko Cho!" Kagu gasped. Miko Cho immediately turned her gaze to Kagu.

"Kagu!" she said, "why are you here, young miko? And why are you floating?"

"Hello?" Kuni growled, "Shes surging with electricity, smart one!"

Miko Cho gasped. "Oh my!" she breathed. She ran to Kagu, knocking Kuni out of her way in the process. Miko Cho looked Kagu up and down, her expression was a combination of shock and excitement. "It's begun," she cried, "the final transformation!" Kuni got up and dusted himself off. "Oh, sure," he muttered under his breath, "just ram into me head like I'm not even there, sure, I'll be fine with you causing me potential injury!"

Nanami looked worried.

"Transformation?" she asked, "what do you mean by that?"

"HA!" said Manpuku, "I knew it was puberty!" He turned to Chibi. "Pay up, Porkchop!"

"It's quite simple really," answered Miko Cho, "a miko's powers grow and develop over time, when they reach their full potential however, they can become, well...a bit unpredictable." She turned to Kagu. "I never expected your powers to mature so quickly though, young miko."

Kagu thought for a minute. "Sooooo," she said, "all of this is...natural?" Miko Cho nodded. "For a miko, yes." she answered. "Once the process is complete, you will be able to access new miko powers. Your other powers will also increase tenfold!"

Kuni scratched his head.

"So,, how long does this ''process" take?" he asked, "a day, a week, a month? How long until she stops being all-" ,he motioned to the sparks of energy that were flying off of Kagu in virtually every direction, "-sparky?"

"It differs for every miko," answered Miko Cho. "Why, it took me an entire YEAR before I stopped sparking."

Kagu's jaw dropped. "A WHOLE YEAR!" she screamed. "You couldn't have told me this BEFORE I graduated!" Miko Cho was taken back.

"Well, you were doing so well in your studies I assumed that you already knew, Kagu." she answered.

"This is awful!" Kagu moaned, "I'm an actress, how am I supposed to act, let alone use my powers to protect people, if I keep zapping everyone I come in contact with!" Miko Cho shurgged. "That I am afraid I don't know." she admitted. She then opened the doors to the Miko HQ. She looked back. "I'm sorry, Kagu." she said, "I assumed that you already knew." She closed the doors behind her. Kagu hung her head in despair. Chibi whimpered, trotted over to her, and licked her cheek. Kagu patted him on the head. "Thanks, Pooch." she muttered. Manpuku's stomach growled. "Okay," he moaned, "I need food, NOW!"

"Maybe he's right," said Nanami, "maybe some lunch would cheer you up, Kagu?" Manpuku rubbed his enormous belly. "I know that it would certainly cheer ME up." he mumbled. Chibi barked in agreement.

A few minutes later all five of them were seated at a small dumpling restaurant. They had to sit outside due to the owners policy of "No pets allowed". Kuni, Nanami, and Manpuku were all chowing down on the dumplings they had ordered. Kuni kept glancing over at Manpuku's gigantic pile of at least two-hundred fried chicken dumplings. Kuni shook his head.

"One of these days, Manny," he said " I swear that you'll die of one MASSIVE heart-attack."

"Either that or a massive coronary," Nanami added, "or total organ failure."

Manpuku looked up from his plate. "I'm going for all three!" he announced. The three of them laughed. Chibi would have laughed too, but you know, he's a wolf and all that. Seeing her friends so happy made Kagu feel a little bit better.

"Yeah." she chuckled. She looked down at her plate of uneaten dumplings. "These sure look good." she said. Kagu reached for her chopsticks but as soon as she touched them there was a spark and she withdrew her hand.

"Yowch!" she yelped. She reached for her chopsticks again, but this time not only did she get shocked, but the chopsticks caught fire too. As Kagu sucked on her sore fingers, Kuni (who was sitting across from her) snatched the chopsticks and attempted to extinguish them in Nanami's hair. The fire was apparently super-natural however and the flames only burned brighter.

"Um, these are probably defective, anyway." Kuni reassured Kagu before tossing the two burning, over-glorified twigs over his shoulder. The chopsticks bounced off some guy's head, setting his hair on fire, then flew into the air and became lodged in the roof of that same guy's house, setting it on fire. The man, unaware of the blazing inferno that currently ragged upon his cranium, continued on his journey to the gunpowder warehouse. He would later be making a much-needed journey to the wig store the following day.

Kagu tried to pick up her dumpling with her other hand but was shocked again. Ever stubborn, she tried again and again to pick up her dumpling but still no cigar. After her seventh attempt, the poor dumpling was rendered a smoldering lump of ash, so unrecognizable by dumpling standards that even its parents wouldn't have recognized it, it could however be easily mistaken as a wandering piece of charcoal who had somehow made it's way from the oven to the little starlet's plate. Frustrated, but now more determined than ever, Kagu attempted to eat her meal Manpuku style. Knowing that holding the plate to her face would be impossible, she leaned forward and tried to pick up a dumpling with her teeth. She managed to get the succulent morsel into her mouth but then spit it out a split second later, right into Kuni's face.

"Owwwww!" Kagu moaned. She felt her tongue and winced in pain. "My tongue," she wailed, "Ib zabbed my tongue!" Kuni wiped the mess left by the now grounded dumpling off of his face. "I can't even eat now?" Kagu banged her fists against the table, leaving two burn marks in the process, "Ib trained for six months ab the Miko HQ and gabduated with flying colors," she continued, "Ib shoulb be able to cobtrol this!"

"Kagu-" Nanami began.

"Well," interrupted Kagu, "I'b not gonna let some dumb miko electricity geb da best ob ME: Kagura, actress suberstar!" Kagu then used her teeth to pick up yet another dumpling, got it in her mouth, and despite the pain, swallowed it whole! The dumpling, upon entering the girl's oral orifice, was bombarded with a relentless barrage of electricity as it slid, albeit painfully, down the young actress's throat. Said morsel soon instantaneously detonated inside the poor girl. Smoke was ACTUALLY seeping from Kagu's ears as well as her mouth as she hacked, coughed, and wheezed. She finally launched the now seared and blackened dumpling out of her throat. It flew across the table and stuck to Kuni's left eye. The boy let out an unearthly scream.

"IT BURNS!" Kuni yelled. He leapt from his chair and began running around like a maniac, trying to pry the source of his burning cornea from his face but to no avail. "GET IT OFF OF ME!" He screamed, "GREAT AMATERASU IN HEAVEN, THIS IS BEYOND PAIN!" Kuni then proceeded to throw himself into the nearest canal he could find. His friends then hurried to the edge of said water source. Kuni broke the surface and began splashing around like crazy.

"Help!" he called out, the dumpling still clinging to his left eye, "I CAN'T SWIM!"

Nanami was just about to jump off of Chibi's back, do a triple flip in the air, and execute a perfect dive into the water, which would have been both an impressive and a sight to behold for generations to come, but before she could, however, Kagu floated past her heading toward the drowning Kuni.

"WAIT, KAGU, NO!" Nanami called, "WATER CONDUCTS-"

There was a ZAP followed by a "YOWCH!" and the canal lit up like a christmas tree. "Oh, I,um, see you figured that out." Nanami said.

Chibi whimpered.

Several moments later, the gang was at Dr. Bluebeard's. He had given Kagu some medicine that had stopped her tongue from swelling. Kuni on the other hand had to go through a very painful procedure. Thanks to a certain act-before-thinking miko girl, not only was Kuni severely burned but his left eye was swollen shut. Some ointment had instantly cured the burns, but not the eye. Kuni was informed that he would have to wear an eye-patch over his swollen eye and would have to apply ointment daily until it healed by Bluebeared.

"Your eye should heal in a few weeks," Dr. Bluebeard announced, "just keep applying the ointment and whatever you do don't scratch it."

"Thanks, Doc." said Kuni as he was handed a blue bottle. His friends surrounded him, relived that he was alright.

Manpuku snickered. "You kinda look like a pirate, Kuni" he chuckled. "Arrr." said Kuni. Everyone laughed at this, except for Kagu who was just standing there, silent and still. Kuni noticed her.

"Kagu-" he began, but she cut him off. Kagu looked down at her feet.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm SO sorry." then she floated out the door, her friends followed. Before any of them could speak, Kagu said "I'm going home." and left. Chibi whimpered sadly.

When she got home, Kagu didn't say "hi" to anyone, she just floated onward. Some of the staff got looks of fear on their faces as she floated by, some turned and fled, others kept their distances and whispered to one another. By the time she got to her room, Kagu felt horrible, just today she'd shocked a fellow actor, a handful of unsuspecting people, and she'd shocked Kuni at least three times, not to mention almost ruining his left eye with the haywire dumpling. Kagu yawned, having to levitate herself off the ground for almost the entire day had been exhausting. She needed some rest. Kagu floated toward her bed and cursed under her breath when she realized that she would have to continue to levitate while she slept so as not to ruin the mattress. Kagu floated on her back and tried to go to sleep but for some reason she just couldn't. She tossed and turned in the air, trying to get comfortable but it was no use. Kagu moaned, she was sleeping on air for crying out loud, LITTERALLY! Finally, Kagu couldn't take it anymore, she at up and just floated there, thinking to herself. She couldn't last another week of this, much less an entire year. She'd probably starve to death or build up so much electricity that she'd explode or something dumb like that. There was no way that she could perform like this, her days as a star were probably over. And how was she going to use her powers to protect people? That would be impossible in her current state. Kagu thought hard and hard, trying to come up with a solution for her "shocking" dilemma. She finally thought of one idea, she didn't like it, but if she wanted to not be a burden to her friends or her family, she would have to do it.

An hour later, a voice could be heard from outside of Kagu's door.

"Third door on the left." came a voice, probably one of the staff.

"T'hanks for the directions." came another voice, one that sounded much younger. "It's your funeral, kid." said the first voice. "Try not to get shocked."

The door opened a little. "Kagu?" came the second voice. It was Kuni, he was wearing the eyepatch. "You in here?" he asked.

No response.

She's probably still upset, Kuni thought. He opened the door the rest of the way and let himself in. "It's me, Kuni," he announced, "I thought you might like some company, y'know, considering the whole "doomed to disintegrating everything I touch" or "destroyer of all things that breath" or whatever so I wondered if-" He stopped. Kagu wasn't here. Kuni scanned the room, Kagu DEFINITELY wasn't there. The room didn't have any good hiding places, so he mentally crossed that possibility out. Her parents had said that she hadn't left her room since she got home, so where in Amaterasu's name was she? That's when he noticed the note on her bed, the edges were burned and the writing made it pretty clear that Kagu had wrote it quickly. Kuni wondered how she had written it without being able to hold the brush. He picked the note up and read it. A wave of worry washed over him.

"Oh snap!" he muttered.

Kuni had rounded up the rest of the gang.

"Are you sure she's gone?" asked Nanami.

"Yeah, maybe she's just hiding." Manpuku suggested. He was carrying a large assortment of snacks that he had taken from the kitchen pantry.

"I told you guys, she left a note!" Kuni answered, "Listen to what it reads!"

Kuni read the note aloud, it said:

Dear, friends or parents,

By the time you read this, I will have left.

I can't be an actress if I destroy everything I come in contact with.

So I have left, I will not return until the sparks have stopped and the transformation is complete. I can't risk hurting anyone, I'm only a burden. You might not see me again for a while, but it's better this way.

Love, Kagu.

Kagu had been floating for an hour, by now she was far away from Sei-An City, her family, and her friends. She had floated out into the nearby woods, she was probably lost by now, but she didn't care. All that mattered was that she was far away from everyone. She didn't want to hurt them, not them and not anyone. The thought of her friends was too much for Kagu. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. A spli second later there was a spark and she was clutching her eye.

"I CAN'T EVEN CRY! she yelled, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!" Kagu screamed in fury. "Oh, how can this POSSIBLY get any worse!"

"All righty," said the drummer of the Thunder-Band who lived up in the clouds, "ready to practice for our new DEATH METAL album?"

"Shaw, dude!" said the other two members, the female guitarist and the koto player dude.

"Then let's get ready to make some NOISE" said the drummer.

"ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!"

Thunder boomed over Kagu's head and it immediately began to rain. The rain-drops sparked as they were caught in the electrical field that surrounded Kagu.

"OUCH!" she said as she was continuously peppered by the never-ending torrent of water. "It was a rhetorical question!" she yelled aloud. Kagu made a dash toward the nearest grove, all the while facing the full scale assault of the rain. Kagu finally found a spot that was covered by the over-hanging branches of the trees. A storm like this could last forever, Kagu thought. She was still tired from having to keep herself aloft, then she noticed a small tree stump. Completely throwing caution to the wind and forgetting all past events, the young miko made her way to the makeshift chair.

Not far where Kagu was, Kuni, Nanami, Manpuku, and Chibi were searching for their friend. They were all calling Kagu's name, but to no response. Just then, it started to rain.

"MY HAIR!" Manpuku yelped, he then seemingly snatched an umbrella out of no where and opened it, and then proceeded to smile stupidly. FWOOSH! Manpuku's flaming hair caught the umbrella on fire. Still smiling, Manpuku didn't seem to notice.

"This is impossible," Nanami yelled over the raging wind, "How are we supposed to find one girl in this huge forest?"

"Beats me, Nanami," Kuni answered, "I wish the gods would just, I dunno, send us a sign or something."

Just then, the ground shook and there was a huge explosion in the distance. After a long moment of silence, Kuni looked up to the heavens, cupped his hands and yelled, "THANK YOU!"

The four of them headed toward the are where they saw the explosion. When they got there however, there was a large crater in the ground. After yet ANOTHER long moment of silence Nanami thwacked Kuni on the back of his head.

"Nice going, Kuni." she said. Chibi began whimpering, then began sniffing around the crater. Kuni kept staring at the crater.

"What the heck happened here?" he asked.

"Kagu must have built up so much electricity that she must have instantaneously vaporized herself! Total spontaneous combustion!" Everybody stared at him. "What?" he asked, "just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't use BIG words and know what they mean? Anyway, It could happen!"

Chibi began barking, when he trotted over to them he had something in his mouth. It was one of Kagu's exorcism slips!

"WOAH!" they all said at the same time.

"Manpuku," gasped Nanami, "You might have been right!"

"Sweet!" the fat boy replied, "er, I mean, um, that's bad and all, but I was RIGHT! Boo-yah!" He turned and looked at the crater. "Too bad someone had to explode for me TO be right though..."

Kuni sank to his knees and threw his arms up. "Nooooooooooooo!" he wailed "Oh, why did she have to explode so young! They blow up so fast! WHYYYY?"

"Don't you just hate it when people you know explode for no reason, like in a Michael Bay movie?" Manpuku asked Nanami. She glared at him,"That's pretty morbid humor, Manny." she said.

"Hey, I'm just trying to lighten the mood a little." Manpuku replied. Kuni was still mourning.

"I told you to send us a sign, NOT BLOW HER UP!" he yelled at the sky. Kuni hung his head. "I never even got a chance to tell her how much I loved her...work!" he quickly added when he realized that his friends were starring at him. "Yeah, um, her work in that...play. The one I, um, saw that one time...IN NOVEMBER!" Kuni's face was turning redder by the second.

After a moment of awkward silence, Nanami said "Oh, that's right! I remember that play, I heard some fishermen talking about it awhile back."

Just then, an eerie moaning sound echoed through the trees. Manpuku gulped, "It's Kagu's vengeful spirit!" he cried. He then proceeded to shape-shit into his cooking-pot form and began trembling. "I'm sorry that I raided your pantry and ate all of the snacks!" Manpuku moaned. "HAVES MERCY ON MAH SOULZ!" Chibi began barking and, without warning, bounded off into the underbrush, bringing Nanami with him.

"OH NOES!" Manpuku yelled, "Kagu possessed Porkchop and is gonna be using him to be doing away with us, DON'T POWER SLASH ME IN TWO!" he begged. Kuni rolled his eyes, "Oh, please, let's just follow him, Manny," he ordered "and stop talking like a ten year old forum addict!"

After following Chibi, who was in turn following the moaning sound, the group finally came to an enormous tree. Its branches provided a much needed escape from the storm, but more importantly, Kagu was floating right near the trunk. Her outfit was mostly burnt and ash-soaked. Her entire body was coursing with enough electricity to power all of Asia for a week. She was moaning sadly.

"KAGU!" exclaimed Kuni, Nanami, and Manpuku in unison. Chibi barked and wagged his tail happily. The young miko looked up.

"Guys," she exclaimed, shocked to see them, "what in Amaterasu's name are you doing here," her eyes narrowed, "and why is Manpuku holding a burnt twig?" Sure enough, the flames from Manpuku's hair had rendered the umbrella to nothing but a burnt piece of wood. He tossed it over his shoulder. "Oh, um, no reason," the chubby boy mumbled.

"Aaanyway," said Kuni, "now that we found you, we can bring you back to the city and-"

"I'm not going back." Kagu said, bluntly. "Look at me, it's dangerous just to be within five feet of me. I can't go back," she continued, "not like this..."

"Sure you can," Manpuku protested, "I mean, look at me, I'm a walking fire-hazard and you don't see people running away from me screaming; "OH MY GOD! Head for the hills! It's the walking inferno! You better hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your pets cause he's burning everyone and-"

"That'll do, Manny!" interrupted Kuni. He then turned to face Kagu, "Look, Kagu," he began, "you've got to come back becau-" He was suddenly interupted by Manpuku who was singing: "Oooooh go an' tell your homie that you don't have to come an confess, we're gonna fiiind you, we're gonna fiiind you, so go an-"

"WE GET IT, MANNY, SHUT UP!" Kuni yelled. Manpuku immediately stopped singing but continued to hum the rest of the lyrics to himself.

"It doesn't matter what you have to say, anyway," Kagu said, "I'm not going back and that's final!" She then turned around, folded her arms, and stuck her nose in the air. Kuni shrugged.

"Okay," he said, casually as he began to turn around, "I guess we'll just have to-" He suddenly turned around and leapt and Kagu. He managed to wrap his around her and yell, "I got her you guys, now lets drag her back to-" he blinked, realizing that he'd done something stupid. "OH, PLEASE NO-" Kuni managed to say before his body was instantly filled with waves of nerve-crippling electricity...AGAIN! Manpuku grabbed onto Kuni in a desperate effort to help his friend, but he too was shocked. Chibi tried to help the portly boy, and suffered the same fate, inadvertently zapping Nanami in the process. The five friends sputtered and stuttered as wave after wave of electricity passed through them. Finally, there was a tremendous BOOM and an electric explosion lit up the night sky. The blast was so loud that it woke up Susano from his daily booze snooze all the way in Kamiki Village. He assumed the his wife, Kushi, was trying to cook using their new furnace again, and went back to sleep.

The smoke cleared, revealing four shaken children, and a surely traumatized wolf pup. Kagu was the first to regain her senses.

"KUNI, YOU IDIOT!" she scolded, and smacked the boy across the face. "OW!" he yelped. Kagu gasped, "Wait a minute..." she muttered, and smacked Kuni across the face again.

"YOWCH," Kuni yelped, "Okay, Kagu, you're mad at me, we get it!"

"No it's not that," Kagu squalled, excitedly, "I DIDN'T SHOCK YOU!"

Kuni rubbed his sore cheek. "It still felt like you did." he grumbled.

"You didn't shock him?" Nanami asked, also giddy as heck.

"No, I didn't," Kagu answered "Do you know what this means?"

"The author is running out of Ideas and is trying to end the story A.S.A.P?" Manpuku guessed, still a little shaken.

"Yes, but that also means that I DON'T HAVE SHOCKY SYNDROME ANYMORE!" answered Kagu, jumping up and down excitedly.

"But how's that even possible?" questioned Kuni.

"Well," said Nanami, who was suddenly wearing a graduation hat and was pointing to a chalkboard that had somehow appeared out of nowhere, "when we were all touching and Kuni tried to grab Kagu, all of the electricity must have passed out of Kagu and into us, with our combined effort we managed to ground the electricity that has plagued us this entire time."

"Wow, bravo Patch444, bravo." Kagu said, sarcastically.

"Hey, Kuni," said Manpuku, "now that Kagu's not all sparky anymore, you can tell her how much you loved her work in that play she was in that you saw in Novem-" Kuni quickly covered Manpuku's mouth.

Kagu blinked.

"Kuni," she said, "you've never even BEEN to one of my plays before."

All eyes were on the young swordsman, who was blushing so hard that he looked like a fresh picked cherry. "Well, um," Kuni began, still blushing, "I, uh, well I, errr..." he turned to Kagu and gulped, "Ya see, w-what I meant to say w-w-was th-that I-"

Suddenly, Issun burst through the bushes, he was wearing some sort of protective helmet. "RUN FOR IT!" he yelled. "Oh, hey look, it's Issun!" Kuni quickly pointed out.

Issun noticed them, "Hey, Kuni, ya look like a pirate." he said, "Now where was I? Oh yeah! WHAT ARE YOU KIDS, and godling," he added, indicating Chibi, "DOING OUT HERE! WE GOTTA RUN!" The Celestial Envoy began mumbling to himself, but he was mumbling so loudly that everybody could hear him. "I KNEW THAT WAKA PREDICTED IT, BUT I NEVER EXPECTED IT TO HAPPEN SO SOON!"

"Calm down, Issun," Nanami said, "what's going on?"

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS," the poncle exclaimed, "THE GOOD OL' U.S. OF A. IS BOMBING US! DIDN'T YA SEE THE EXPLOSION? QUICK, TO THE NEAREST FALLOUT SHELTER!"

Chibi began barking at the little fellow.

"What?" Issun asked, confused, "No bombs? A miko thing?" Issun turned red. "Well this is a little embarrassing," he admited, "well, I'd better go and preach about the gods now, see ya later!" And with that, the little artist hopped away. After a moment of silence, Manpuku asked, "Now what?" Kagu's stomach grumbled, "I'm starved," she announced, "I haven't since breakfast, let's got get some dinner."

Manpuku rubbed his stomach and smiled. "I hear that!" he said. As the five friends walked toward the city, Manpuku whispered to Kuni. "By the way, bud, what WERE you going to say to Kagu?" he asked. "As if I don't already know." he added, nudging Kuni on the shoulder and winking.

"Never you mind," Kuni chuckled, "I'm just glad that she's back to normal."

"Yeah," Manpuku agreed, "you got shocked ALOT today, buddy!"

Kuni adjusted his eyepatch, his eye would heal in a few weeks. "Don't remind me , Manny," he said, "don't remind me."


End file.
